I mentioned last week that we are in a flurry of hurry over working on FFA leadership contests, scholarship applications, 4-H and FFA applications at our home. Did I mention my Christmas decorations are still up? Since they didn't get up until a week before Christmas, I figure I'm good and just enjoying them on the back end of the season. When they start to collect dust, does it mean it's time for them to go?
The pile of papers on the kitchen table hasn't really shrunk. One project gets finished and another begins. We didn't really make a plan to help our oldest find scholarships, as his was a late hour decision to go after he had already been out of school for a year. Child No. two is a different story. A dairy science degree has been the plan for a long time even though the path to get there has taken a surprise turn or two. Regardless, any investment in her education through scholarships is a blessing and well worth pursuing.
One application got checked off the list last night. Since I'm the one who gets paid to write in the family, it means I'm also obliged to edit everything that gets written for classes, applications or whatever the reason around here. The essay she included talked about the values of faith, home and family she acquired in her childhood. She admired personal attributes of each family member and hopes to emulate them in her life—her brother's sense of humor and ability to make everyone laugh; her father's work ethic and stubbornness. I laughed at this point. So far she is dead on.
And then she came to me. Kind is one word she used. I would like to be remembered as such, it's a good legacy. I hid the lump in my throat and stinging in my eyes by telling her I placed a comma here, separated a run-on sentence into two shorter ones there and made two paragraphs out of one long one. I know I don't always live up to that regard. I hope I remember how my daughter views me the next time I feel tempted to be unkind to a stranger, friend or family.
Then there are the letters. Letters of recommendation or support that describe character, achievements and work ethic. I started reliving the many occasions described in some letters. There were victories, defeats, laughter and tears in the making of a recommendation condensed into words beautifully composed on a single sheet of paper.
What struck me again was not necessarily the choice of words, but the sincerity of the writer. And here comes the nose twitching, eye stinging, lump in the throat tears again. Whether the writer knew her for many years or just one, she had left an impact in some way. They had observed some of the characteristics we want them to have but may not be seen every day at home; the actions or behaviors we expect them to follow, even when we aren't watching.
It boils down to this. Parents, don't let up. Being a parent is hard, you sacrifice—sometimes a lot. You lay awake nights, you worry, and your prayers seem to focus solely on your kids. Sometimes it takes a letter written by someone else to let you know that you were on the right track in raising your children. Someone said it takes a village to raise a child. Sure, there are lots of important people that influence kids along the growing up journey. But it comes down to the two people most looked up to by a child—mom and dad.
Be stubborn, funny and kind. Your kids will be the better for it in the end.
Bev Berens is a freelance writer and FFA parent from Holland, Mich. She can be contacted at uphillfarm494@yahoo.com.